


The Me Myself

by visionshadows



Series: Her Journey Bright and Pure [22]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Body Image, Breast Augmentation, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Physical Changes, Surgery, Transgender, Transitioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 11:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/visionshadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The next time Sidney has surgery, she is <i>not</i> scheduling it when Geno is on a road trip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Me Myself

**Author's Note:**

> First note on language - If Natalia and Vladimir are part of the conversation, it is in Russian. Sidney and Geno talk between themselves in English (at least in this part).

Sidney shifted uncomfortably, sitting on her hands to keep from playing with the tight bra around her chest. It was irritating and she just wanted to take it off and see what her breasts looked like. She checked the clock again - five minutes later than the last time.

Natalia clucked softly at her. “Zhenya will be home soon.”

“I know,” Sidney sighed softly. She shifted again, moving her hands and picking at her nail polish. “I just want to see them. I want to see him see them.”

“I know, dochen’ka. Don’t pick your polish,” Natalia reached over to grab Sidney’s hands. “You can look any time you want.”

Sidney shook her head. “Zhenya needs to be here.”

Natalia let go of her hands, patting her arm lightly. “And he will be soon. Are you in any pain?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Sidney said before getting to her feet to pace. “I wish I could do something more than sit and wait.”

“We could try learning to knit again.” 

Sidney looked at Natalia, making a face. “That didn’t go well last time.”

“True,” Natalia agreed. The thing that Sidney called a blanket had been hidden from sight very quickly. Taylor’s baby was better off without it. “We could practice your Russian more.”

“We are doing that now,” Sidney made a face, letting out a quiet gasp of pain as the stitches in her mouth and over her eyes pulled. She sat back down heavily. “Ow.” 

“Sidney, dochen’ka.” Natalia admonished her gently. “You need to relax. Zhenya will be home very soon and you will be able to look. I promise you, they are very nice if a little bruised.”

Sidney sighed again and nodded. She should probably feel weirder about the fact that Natalia and Taylor had already seen her breasts, but at this point her body was practically an open book to them. She had kept her eyes closed during her check-up, promising Geno that they would look at them together for the first time. 

However when they had decided that, the five day road trip that started the day of the surgery didn’t seem like a big deal. Now that she had actually had the surgery on her breasts and face, she just wanted Geno here so he could look at her. Her face was a bruised mess and she knew her breasts were going to look odd before they settled, but she wanted him to see. 

“Enough,” Natalia finally said, standing up. “You can’t hit hockey pucks, but you can still skate carefully. Let’s go.”

Sidney got up as well. Natalia was right. She was allowed to skate carefully as long as she promised not to tire herself out. Hitting pucks was out of the question. Holding a stick was a bad idea in general because she knew how hard it was to hold back when she had a stick in her hand. The last thing she needed to do was pull any stitches.

“Vovochka,” Natalia walked into the den, not caring that both he and Bear were fast asleep. He startled awake, looking at her blearily. “You and Sidney are going to go skate. Don’t let her do anything strenuous.”

Vladimir nodded and got up, still half-asleep. “No sticks, no pucks, no speeding.”

“Good,” Natalia nodded before clapping her hands. “Bear. Time to go outside.”

Bear lifted his head from where he was sleeping and gave her a look that clearly said he was not ready. Natalia put her hands on her hips and stared him down. 

“We’ll leave them to that,” Vladimir said, leading Sidney towards the basement. “She’ll out stubborn him.”

Sidney chuckled. “Eventually Bear will stop fighting her and just listen when she tells him what to do.”

“As we all eventually do,” Vladimir said with a grin. “Now, getting too nervous waiting for Zhenya?”

“I’m fidgeting too much for Mama,” Sidney said with a shrug. “I want him to be home now.”

“Next time only have surgery if he’s on a homestand,” Vladimir said firmly. “Now sit so I can put on your skates.”

“I can do it myself,” Sidney protested, but shut up at Vladimir’s glare. He was probably right and she shouldn’t lean down to get her skates on. Natalia must have drilled it into his head what she was and wasn’t allowed to do. “Thank you, Papa.”

“It is okay to ask for help. That is what we’re here for,” Vladimir finished tying her skates tightly. “Especially now. Tight enough?”

Sidney stamped her feet against the ground, nodding. “Thank you.”

Vladimir stood up. “Now just skate. Nothing fancy, no speeding. We don’t want you to fall and mess up all the work you’ve had done.”

Sidney got up, stepping out onto the ice. She felt her shoulders relax and she took a deep breath, the smell of ice settling her. She skated slowly. Her center of gravity was off and the more she skated, the more she felt the deep exhaustion in her muscles. 

“Don’t push too hard,” Vladimir said, watching her closely. “You’re leaning too far forward. Stand up straighter.”

Sidney listened, straightening her back as she made her next lap around the ice. It helped a little; she didn’t feel like she was quite so off balance any longer. She slowed to a stop in front of Vladimir, rolling her shoulders carefully. 

“I’m going to have to practice more often,” Sidney said, brushing her hair back from her face. “Between the weight loss and the breasts, everything is off.”

“We have time to work on it,” Vladimir said, patting her arm. “Finished?”

“I think so,” Sidney admitted, stepping off the ice. She looked at the surface of it for a long moment before sitting back down to let Vladimir take off her skates. She was exhausted now, the energy thrumming through her body spent. Maybe Natalia was right. Who was she kidding. Natalia was _always_ right.

“Nap now.” Vladimir set her skates aside and took her arm, helping her up gently. Sidney let him, leaning against him as they walked back up the steps. Natalia was in the kitchen and she smiled happily at the sight of Sidney listing tiredly against Vladimir.

“Go lie down.” Natalia gestured with one hand. “Take a nap and Zhenya will be home soon. And take a pain pill.”

“Yes, Mama,” Sidney said muzzily, heading for the steps to go to the bedroom. She had pills up there so she swallowed one like she was told and almost immediately passed out when her head touched the pillow.

 

Sidney woke slowly, her head a little fuzzy from the pain medication. She shifted on the bed, snuggling into the pillows and blankets more. There was a soft chuckle and she opened her eyes, seeing Geno sitting on the bed next to her. 

“Mmm... you’re home,” Sidney said happily, shifting over to sleepily throw an arm over his waist. She let out a small yelp of pain as she moved too quickly and hit her chest with her arm. 

“Solnyshka,” Geno moved quickly, settling her back down against the pillows. He gently ran his knuckles along the side of her face, careful against the swollen bruised skin. “Careful.”

Sidney pushed herself to a sitting position, leaning forward to hug him. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” Geno said, tilting her head up to kiss her softly. “Mama said you skate today.”

“Everything is off,” Sidney admitted, leaning against him. “My center of gravity is different.”

“Little more top heavy,” Geno grinned. He ran a hand down her arm. “You look yet?”

“Not without you. Mama and Taylor saw them when we went to my appointment the other day. They both said they are nice, but bruised and swollen. Which is normal.”

“Want to look?” asked Geno. He was smiling at her so happily that Sidney leaned up to kiss him again before answering. 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Sidney answered, climbing out of bed. “I’m going to need your help.”

“We do together,” Geno said, leading her into the bathroom. He flipped on the light, moving to stand next to Sidney.

“Curvy,” Geno said his voice barely above a whisper. Sidney nodded and began to unbutton the shirt she was wearing. Her fingers were trembling and Geno took over, carefully pushing the shirt off her shoulders. 

She was wearing a compression bra so there was nothing sexy about it, but Geno ran gentle fingers over the straps and kissed her again. He moved so he was standing behind Sidney, his fingers on the zipper between her breasts.

“Ready?” 

Sidney nodded and watched as Geno pulled the zipper down and unsnapped the straps. He pulled it off and set it on the sink, sliding an arm around Sidney’s waist to look. 

Sidney stared in awe. They were swollen and high on her chest, stitches still visible and her areolas were bruised purple. But they were hers. She touched them gently, ran her fingers over the full curves. She grabbed Geno’s free hand and guided it over her skin, shivering a little. 

“They beautiful,” Geno whispered. He moved both hands up to cup her breasts, sliding his thumbs over the nipples. She didn’t feel anything there, but she’d been cautioned that it would take some time for the sensation to come back. 

“I have breasts,” Sidney murmured, her eyes filling with tears. “I have wanted these my whole life.”

Geno pressed a kiss to her shoulder, smiling as he looked at their reflections. “Look so beautiful, Sidney.”

“This is really happening,” Sidney wiped at her eyes, staring at herself. She had a curve to her waist that hadn’t been there before, her breasts balancing out her hips. She didn’t look like a broad plank any longer, her body slowly taking on the appearance she wanted. “Thank you.”

Geno furrowed his brow. “Why thank me?”

“I wouldn’t be doing this without you,” Sidney said, turning to look at him. “You have supported me in everything and I don’t think I could be here if you weren’t by my side.”

Geno swallowed thickly, his voice rough. “You’re welcome.”

“Zhenya! Have you looked yet? They’re very nice!”

Geno made a face before he started to laugh, shaking his head. Sidney started to laugh as well, leaning against him as she giggled helplessly. Their family was kind of absurd.

“Yes, Mama! They are beautiful and Sidney is very happy!”

Sidney looked at herself in the mirror, happy at the sight of herself for the first time in a very long time. Geno slipped his arms around her waist again and the two of them stood there, staring at the woman in the mirror.

**Author's Note:**

> I finished all my canning projects today so in celebration I decided to post another part. The idea behind this came from a conversation I heard on the radio with a woman who had her breasts done and waited until she and her boyfriend could see them together for the first time. 
> 
> Second note on language - I asked around and did research on what Sidney would call the Malkins and vice-versa. Dochen'ka means daughter-in-law, but it's an endearing term. While it is generally not usual for a daughter-in-law to call her in-laws Mama and Papa in Russia, in this case, I think she would. The relationship is very close. Vovochka is a diminutive of Vladimir that a wife would use for her husband, also an endearing term. Solnyshka (it really should be solynshko actually) which is what Geno calls Sidney means my sun.


End file.
